“I am ready,” I kept telling God in our seemingly constant 2 am chats.
I am ready for my Prince Charming. So where the hell was he?
Prince Charming. You know…the man who had it together—good job, financially stable, calls his mom on the weekends, and the one that would treat me like royalty. He was basically perfect and once we met, our lives would be perfect together; we’d raise perfect little children, and do other perfect things, like eat dinner as a family every night as we went around the table saying one thing we were grateful for…you know, sh*t like that.
You see, I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. Wait, scratch that. I’ve always been a hopeFULL, yet perpetually disappointed romantic. Despite the commitment phobic, “Let’s play games because games are fun, “I’m really not looking for anything serious” type of guys I encountered (and regretfully dated), there was still a part of me that was incredibly hopeful.
I’ve only had a handful of real boyfriends in my life. The females who seemed to always be in a relationship perplexed me. Where were they finding these men? Or how were they getting so damn lucky? It was an elusive romance riddle that I just hadn’t mastered.
It seemed like everyone was finding love but me. They were getting married, changing their Facebook statuses, and growing small humans in their bellies while I was being asked if I was still there. Yes, Netflix, you judgmental prick…I’m still watching.
Well long story, short, and as the cliché goes—“When you stop looking for love, it will find you.” And that’s exactly what happened. I met Curt, the best person I know, when I absolutely was not looking for it.
Now life would be perfect. Right?
My Prince Charming, my tall, dark, and handsome (and muscular!) Prince Charming came riding into my life on his white horse.
But wait. What was that trailing behind him? A few suitcases that obviously had seen better days. Could it be? My Prince Charming had some baggage.
Here it is—he was a previously divorced man who had a kid. Oh, and he had debt.
Part of me really liked him. And the other part of me really wanted to run. How could I do this? My plan was to be with someone who would share their first and only’s with me. First and only one to marry. First and only one to have children with. But his past left no chance for that to happen. No chance at having my perfect life.
Fast forward to now. I believe I am living my “perfect” life. I am with the man that God prepared for me. The man who loves me to my absolute core and the one I can’t seem to help but tear up when I write about him. He sees beauty in pieces of me that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to see in myself. He loves me more than I ever imagined I could be loved by another human being.
Through Curt, I’ve learned that sometimes the most beautiful souls are the way they are because they went through some hard ass sh*t in life. His experiences have made him the AMAZING husband, father, and man that he is today. And had I foregone being with Curt because of his “baggage,” I would have missed out on the happiest moments I’ve ever experienced.
My life sure didn’t turn out as I had planned it…and thank God for that.